One liners

 If  you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, 

would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?
 
     Why do we say something is out of whack?  What is a whack?
 
     Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Say 'Baseiline' - Say 'Vaseilne'
 
     If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
 
     Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? 

 Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
 
     If  love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
   
     When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put
 your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
 
     Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
 
     Why do croutons come in airtight packages? 

It's just stale bread to begin with.
 
    When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
   
          Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
 
     Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
 
     If  horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
 
     Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
 
     "I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.

Could it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?
 
     If  lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that

electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and  dry  cleaners  depressed?
 
     Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
 
     Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion
    stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you
 a  wall  has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
 
     If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
  does he  become disoriented?
 
     If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from
  Holland called "Holes?"